An unplanned pregnancy may shock you and your partner. Even if your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion, you have options. Remember that you make the final decision about your pregnancy.
Take time to discuss things with your partner. Here are ten tips to get an honest conversation started.
1. Know that no one can force you to have an abortion.
Your boyfriend may want you to get an abortion, but the law prohibits anyone from forcing you to have one. You have the right to make a decision that’s best for your health and your future. As you discuss your options, learn how abortion affects mental health to decide what might be best for you.
2. Know how far along you are.
Before you and your partner make a decision, you should receive an ultrasound to confirm the viability of your pregnancy and find out how far along you are. This will help you know whether you qualify for abortion pills or a surgical abortion.
3. Talk about the abortion pill.
Partners may be unaware of what an abortion entails, so talk about it.
With the abortion pill, a woman intentionally takes medication to terminate her pregnancy. The process involves two medications. The first medication, mifepristone, interferes with progesterone receptors and prevents the pregnancy from developing. The second medication, misoprostol, causes the uterus to cramp and expel the pregnancy.1
4. Talk about a surgical abortion.
In a surgical abortion, a provider dilates a woman’s cervix before removing the pregnancy using a curette to scrape out the uterus, a suction catheter, forceps, or other instruments.2 The type of procedure depends on the abortion provider’s preference, how far along a woman is in her pregnancy, and the state laws.
5. Talk about the risks of an abortion.
Even though the choice is yours, you and your partner should openly talk about the possible risks and side effects of abortion.
The abortion pills can cause cramping and bleeding for up to four weeks.3 Complications can include prolonged bleeding, an infection, an allergic reaction, or an incomplete abortion, which could require further medical intervention.4
Complications from a surgical abortion can include bleeding, infection, and pain. In some cases, the surgical abortion is incomplete, so an additional procedure is required. In rare cases, surgical abortions could perforate the uterus or surrounding organs.5 Multiple surgical abortions could lead to scarring within the uterus which could cause infertility in the future.6
6. Talk about the cost of abortion.
Your boyfriend may want you to get an abortion, but does he know the cost? The abortion pill can cost between $500 to $950. Surgical abortions can cost between $500 to $1,150 in the first trimester and $570 to $2,300 in the second trimester.7 These costs often include fees for ultrasounds, blood tests, medications, and follow-up appointments.
7. Know that abortion can affect relationships.
Abortion can affect relationships, especially when the couple disagrees about their decision. Often, men and women find it difficult to clearly communicate their feelings after an abortion and may put up emotional walls. If that occurs, communication often begins to break down and sometimes the relationship ends.
8. Know that abortion can affect men, too.
Even though women make the final decision, men often do not realize that an abortion can affect them emotionally. In a recent study, men reported depression, sadness, guilt, regret, anxiety, anger, thoughts of what could have been, emptiness, and substance abuse after experiencing abortion.8
9. Communicate clearly.
Ask your partner why he wants you to have an abortion. If you’ve had an abortion in the past, consider sharing how it impacted you. This may help him understand why you don’t want to go through it again.
Call us today at (205)-964-6071 to learn more about our after-abortion support groups.
10. Set boundaries.
If your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion, but you don’t want to, then you need to set clear boundaries. Tell him what behaviors and level of communication you are comfortable with. Remember that they cannot force you to make a decision that you’re uncomfortable with.
After-Abortion Support Groups in Alabama and Online
Even if your partner does not offer you the support you want, know that you are not alone. At Abortion Recovery Alabama we offer a safe place to talk about your abortion experience, so that you can find healing from your abortion experience!
Give us a call at (205) 894-2868 to learn more about our after-abortion support groups! A kindhearted facilitator will call you and tell you more so that you can move toward freedom. Support groups are located in various locations in Alabama. You can also participate virtually.
Please be aware that Abortion Recovery Alabama does not provide or refer for abortion services.
Sources
- Cleveland Clinic (2024). Medical Abortion. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21899-medical-abortion
- Mayo Clinic. (2023, November 7). Dilation and curettage (D&C). https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/dilation-and-curettage/about/pac-20384910
- See source #1.
- See source #1.
- See source #2.
- Yvonne Butler Tobah. (2022, August 4). Could an elective abortion increase the risk of problems in a subsequent pregnancy? Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/expert-answers/abortion/faq-20058551
- As advertised by abortion providers in July 2024.
- Support After Abortion. (2023, April). Abortion’s Long-Term Negative Impact on Men. https://supportafterabortion.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Support-After-Abortion-Mens-Research-White-Paper-VF2.1.pdf