Heather payne

After 19 years of self talk, that I was dirty, used, worthless, useless and just “less,” I found an abortion recovery Bible study listed in the Briarwood Church bulletin. I was shocked to find that Sav-A-Life, a group that tirelessly works to save babies lives, also cared about the spiritually and emotionally dying ladies who have had abortions. How unspeakably kind!


Through the study, I read that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. He removes my sin as far as the east is from the west and chooses to remember it no more. I didn't believe that those verses were meant for me. Cindy Harless, the director of ARA, asked me if I believed that the Bible is truth. She had me there. I had been in church all my life, and I knew the Bible was truth. She said, well, you have to believe the whole Bible is true or none of it can be true. You can't pick parts of the Bible to not be true for you!


I didn't want to forgive myself, but God's Word said if I confess my sin He is faithful and just to forgive my sin and cleanse me from ALL unrighteousness. When I said I couldn't forgive myself, I was saying that what Jesus did on the cross wasn't enough! The truth is, Jesus's death on the cross was enough, and His blood paid for all sin from the beginning of time to the end of time, even abortion! God is not like me. Abortion kills babies and it solves nothing. But, Jesus and His sacrifice solves everything. 


If you have had an abortion or know someone who has had an abortion, this Bible study is for you. It dramatically changed my life. I now believe that God loves me and my value comes from Him alone. He has a good plan and purpose for my life and I can bring Him glory by pointing others to Him through His work in me. God is still at work in me. He can use you too, no matter what your sin may be. If you repent and turn, He will be found faithful. He wants to set you free and have you know the fullness of Him. Even joy can be yours. He will take the ashes of your life and turn them for beauty.

Come let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow. Though they are red like Crimson they shall be made like wool. The wages of my sin was death, but the free gift of God is eternal life.